Mussings of a Cigarette Smoking Man

last wednesday, i went to my favorite street-side vendor (dont ak, just find out where) to buy myself a barging price of 3 sticks of cigarettes (yes! i smoke! so be it...) for a good price of 5 pesos. As i was about to light them, a man, probably in his 30's, unwashed, needing a haircut, and obviously broke started to bend down and pick something. The street-side vendor, presumming that the man was going to bug me, or "worse", somdomize me (ok, so maybe im exagerrating!) stared at me, hinting i should check my back. As i turned to see what was going on, all i saw was purely heart-breaking. the man didnt want to bug me. No, he didnt want to sodomize me either! (thank God!) All he did was tried to pick up a fallen cigarette in the dirty, muddy, and sadly, bacteria infested street. I didnt know what to say, do, or even react but all i saw was a man in need. A man whos simple pleasure of smoking a dirty stick of cigarette was almost at his grasp. Sadly, the street-side vendor shooed him away. Embarassed, the man sadly walked away, feeling what i would describe in a cliche, "soo near, yet soo far...". Seeing his need more that my want, i did something i dont normally do, i shared my cigarette with him. Its not that we shared one, i gave one of my sticks to him, sacrificing my "quota" of 3 sticks a day limit. As i called him out and presented to him my stick, the moment was priceless, so priceless that a ream of cigarettes couldnt replace. the feeling of helping a man in his desperate need was all that matter.

Oh, by the way, the man was also mentally-retarded. Happily, i got to see him smile in a very goofy way, but in it all, the joy of smoking came through this time!

                            

soo much for my Blood Lust

so much for my blood lust...

as of this entry, my Tantra character has tasted blood for the seventh (7th) straight time . . .

if you ask me, "hey! thats not right! you sick pervert! murderer! Die bastard!"

all i can say is this . . . .

" YOU WILL BE IN HELL  . . .  BEFORE ME!"

OK... so its been a while...

so its been a while since i last wrote/typed a blogg entry...

may this one count!

Eating Ichigo-es and getting hives!

ok.... so im not actually the cheesy-type of guy.

but this anime really got the best of me....

sad to say, it made me cry.....

as in cry tears of sadness about the story, because it really reflects on how i really fell in love for the first time...

and eventually lose it to someone better...

so without further ado.....

i introduce Ichigo 100%!

you can actually find it in www.anime-source.com

Bleeding nearest to the Heart

as the days past by September, i have learned to dread each full moon...

not because im a werewolf or anything... its just because....

well, everytime these times pass me by in this life....

i seem to bleed nearest to the heart (and im not kidding!)

I know it may seem its all in my head but the thing is i have been losing my focus due to the pain it brings...

internal hemmorage, as they say, is quite lethal if left unattended yet if i think about it.....

its been nearly 2 years since this happened to start..............

the very night i learned to love............ i stabbed myself knowing this would happen...................

and the day i ended it all....... i slashed myself even deeper than before.....

and now the wounds wont heal...... even time cant say it can help m now...

Too silent for Too long

as you may notice....

it has been a few months since i last posted on this blog....

i deliberately took a haitus from it, practicing what i call "self-exile" and isolated myself from life as i know it...

turns out nothing really happened to me....

it may seem i wasted the past few months in so called isolation only to be left out in the cold, shivering and way too cold to feel again....

unfortunately, i discovered something i never thought i could....

i have strenght to go on.....

i can still raise my sword up high.....

i can still evade the attacks and their attackers....

i can still defend myself and those important to me....

i can still swing down my blade and cut skin and bone...

Ode to The summer

summer has come and summer has gone

but the feeling of you was never lost

the sun may burn and the wind forth go

but the love for you has never left

im offically a college boy!

yehey!!!

finally....

after 10 months of waitng and studying...

im finally thru!!

Corruption #1

the time is past to say hellos...

the time is now to say our last good byes...

i have missed the times we part...

now i dread to lose you for good...

life has been empty since you left me...

and sorrow has lingered on behind...

the pain still stings the night i found out...

you choose a lover from another's hand...

the days go shorter still...

and the nights still run cold...

yet it is in the day that darkness falls...

power was all that i seek...

now that i have it in my beck of call...

what can it do to bring you back?

So Am I the only One left behind??

the past few days have been colder still, and my midnight star still doesnt shine

where the grass wither under the cold north wind...

and the polar caps freeze at the warm noon sun...

life is still unfair, contratry to popular belief..

and shit still happens, everyone still do..

As my faithfullness toward her wain each morn and nigh...

the hurt once lost hast been regained...

the emotions thou ran high and left sirr dry...

the anger yet brandished at mine again..

the nighs i spent waitng for thee..

the endless morns i lie awake...

the numerous pillows wet with tears...

tears from a heart broken by thee...

and so my litany goes on and on...

to die with the wind on a cold summer night...